“Can our relationship survive this debate about child safety? Our personal conflict over CPS and child removal is not just about the two of us; it echoes the fierce arguments happening inside CPS, CASA programs, foster‑parent associations, and child‑advocacy organizations nationwide as we struggle to protect children while confronting racism, trauma, and system failure.”
“I hear you when you say CPS and the broader child‑protection system have done real damage to Black families. I know there is a long history of over‑surveillance, biased removals, and the trauma of children being taken and not returned. I understand why, from your experience and community’s experience, CPS feels like a terrible institution and why removal often feels like state violence, not safety.
At the same time, I see something else just as clearly: children left in homes are being beaten, terrorized, molested, and neglected to death. I believe that when a home is truly toxic and dangerous, removal is sometimes the only way a child survives. For better or worse, CPS and the courts are the only structures we have that can legally remove a child from that level of danger. That is the heart of our disagreement from where I sit as a CASA/guardian ad litem and someone who has read far too many child‑death and egregious incident reports.
We debate two different forms of harm:
Children being unnecessarily removed from their families, and children left in homes where everyone already knows they are in imminent danger of life changing trauma and some of them will die at the hands of their caregivers.
You are focused, with good reason, on the first harm. I am focused, with equal urgency, on the second. Both are real. Both fall disproportionately on Black and Native families. I don’t think we do children any favors if we pretend one of these harms doesn’t exist.”
“I don’t defend CPS as a good or just institution. I defend it as the only legal tool children have right now when a parent, partner, or caregiver is destroying them. Children in this country have almost no independent rights to safety. They cannot hire lawyers, sign leases, call their Senator or walk out of the door to find safety. If we abolish or paralyze CPS without something stronger and better in its place, I’m terrified that the ones who will pay the price are the kids already being beaten, starved, and sexually abused.
Real child advocacy means holding two ideas together: fight like hell to make CPS more transparent, effective, and more supportive of families. At the same time, insist that the system use its power to get children out of homes that will kill or permanently destroy them.”
For this to happen CPS will only be fair and effective when it is redesigned to protect children and families to make it happen.
CPS needs access to stronger front‑end supports for struggling families—mental‑health care, addiction treatment, housing and child‑care help—so that removal is a last resort, not a default. In many states and communities public support for critical resources has not been there for the families that need them. We should all band together to provide a safety net that saves families and children.
CPS needs clearer, enforced safety thresholds so that when danger is real and escalating, workers are expected and empowered to act quickly, regardless of a family’s race or zip code. Finally, CPS must share power with those most affected: Black and Native parents, foster youth, and front‑line advocates should help write the policies, review child‑death cases, and hold agencies accountable for both over‑removal and deadly inaction.
“CASA and guardian ad litem work exists because the system has always struggled to see and hear the child. My commitment on this board must be to uphold the child’s point of view.
When a child is terrified to go home, or when the record shows repeated or escalating injuries and no meaningful change, a Guardian ad Litem’s obligation is to say clearly, ‘this is not safe,’ even when that conflicts with a parent’s wishes or a political position.
You and I may weigh family preservation’ and ‘immediate child safety’ differently. But we are both on this board because we care about children who have no other adult purely in their corner.
Because you and I land differently on removal, you have described me as complicit in racism. I accept that, as a white man, I benefit from racist systems, and I will always have blind spots. I am willing to keep examining that and to be challenged on my assumptions.
Where I need to draw a line is when disagreement about policy turns into judgments about my character or motives—that I don’t care whether Black children live, that I am personally racist for believing some children must be removed to be safe. When the conversation goes there, I can’t stay open or collaborative. I’m asking that we both commit to attacking each other’s arguments hard, but not each other’s basic humanity.” Without this happening, these conversations can’t happen to any positive effect.
“If you’re willing, I would like us to keep working together with some shared ground rules.
– We name both harms—unnecessary removal and lethal neglect—and ask in every case, ‘How do we minimize both?’
– We treat CPS as something that must change, not as something that can simply be wished away, because right now it is the only legal route to get a child out of a home that may destroy their chance to live a productive life or even kill them.
– When either of us feels race or bias is in play, we raise it, but we focus on specific words, decisions, or policies, not on labeling each other.
I respect your passion and the experiences that shape it. I’m asking for the same respect in return, even when you believe I am wrong. The kids deserve adults who can stay at the table together, arguing fiercely about ideas while still seeing each other as allies, not enemies.”
You and I are not the only two people having this conversation.
Share this post with your friends and circles of influence for a more civil conversation and better answers to these serious issues.
INVISIBLE CHILDREN / KARA / KIDS AT RISK ACTION
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#CPSReform
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#EndChildAbuse
